Dream Home

Main casts: Josie Ho, Eason Chan

The story basically goes like this:

A lady who wanted so much to buy a property which she can't afford starts killing the tenants to bring down the property's value. Read more about it here.

My take:

I LOVE THIS MOVIE! The plot is simple and straight forward. The visual is very graphics. We can see how Josie goes around 2 units (neighbors of the unit she wanted to buy) killing the tenants. There is a total of 11+1 people killed in that night alone. All in details! Once a while there is a flashback of her background on how she survive poverty to be barely afford a home of her own but the price keeps on appreciating.

I rate this movie 5/5 buttered popcorns.

So, enjoy the movie!

Machete

Main casts: Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Robert DeNiro, Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan

The story basically goes like this:

An ex-cop named Machete is forced to take revenge against a drug king after he killed his wife and daughter and tricked him into assassinating a senator. Read more about it here.

My take:

This is MY kind of movie! Lots of action, lots of gore, lots of badass and hot chicks! The storyline is so so but the action is great. And Jessica Alba. And Lindsay Lohan.. Who cares about her personal life anyway.. I LOVE THIS MOVIE!

I rate this movie 5/5 buttered popcorns.

So, try to enjoy the movies!

Frozen

Tagline: No one knows you're up there

Main casts: Emma Belle, Shawn Ashmore, Kevin Zegers

The story basically goes like this (shamelessly stole from here):

Three skiers are stranded on a chairlift and forced to make life-or-death choices that prove more perilous than staying put and freezing to death.

My take:

A simple yet thrilling movie. Imagine stranded on the chairlift during winter. Jump down, will suffer broken bones. Sit there will freeze to death. Climb to safety, the razor-sharp cables will cut through ur skin. How? Which way would you choose to die? The atmosphere created is excellect to make you feel as if you are there, making decisions...

I rate this movie 4/5 buttered popcorns.

So, try to enjoy the movies!

Splice

Tagline: Science's Newest Miracle ... Is A Mistake

Main casts: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley, Delphine Chanéac

The story basically goes like this (shamelessly stole from here):

Elsa and Clive, two young rebellious scientists, defy legal and ethical boundaries and forge ahead with a dangerous experiment: splicing together human and animal DNA to create a new organism. Named "Dren", the creature rapidly develops from a deformed female infant into a beautiful but dangerous winged human-chimera, who forges a bond with both of her creators - only to have that bond turn deadly.

My take:

Dren is actually not a pretty sight. Bald, eyes too far apart from each other and with legs of similar to goats. Storyline quite ok. But not too interestong and some parts can be draggy. This guy Adrien Brody always got this look of 'fishing for sympathy'. Actually I am quiet curious on how they turn a pretty girl into a hybrid species.

from chick to freak

I rate this movie 3/5 buttered popcorns.

So, try to enjoy the movies!

Fake Identity

Tagline: A Deadly Game of Cat and Mouse

The story basically goes like this:

Liddis one.. This doctor Nick mistakenly for some secret agent in a black market diamond deal. Then another secret agent Katrine try to help him out of the mess. The taikor of the diamond deal then wanted to kill Nick. Thieves chase police, police chase thieves. Confusing like hell then ending, all open fires and all die except Nick and Katrine. Duh...

Read more of it here.

My take:

I don't really understand what is the story is all about. The storyline is too loose and Val, is not the same Val as in Batman. He is HUGE! During the start of the movie, Katrine is escaping from some thugs and she saw Nick on the way and french kissed him to get away from that sticky situation. After that kiss, 2 strangers can be so in love until both can die for each other. This must be a joke! Oh ya, this movie is also known as Double Identity. Movies with 2 names can't be serious..

If this happens in real world:

Life is so confusing..

Food to go along with this: Plain water as this movie is just like a glass of plain water.

I rate this movie 2/5 buttered popcorns.

So, try to enjoy the movies!

Aftershock

The story basically goes like this (shamelessly nicked from here):

Based on the Tangshan Earthquake in 1976, Li Ni returns home only to find out that her 7-year-old twins are buried under the debris. She's left with a dilemma on deciding whom she chooses to save, her son, Fonda or her daughter, Fan Teng. She chooses to save her son in the end without knowing that Fan Teng overheard the decision being made. Miraculously, she manages to survive but suffers from the painful memory of her mother's decision. Later, a young couple adopts her but she remains traumatized by this childhood experience.

My take:

A very good movie. Tear jerker. A few touching moments especially when the grandmother wanted to take the mother’s son away to stay in another town after the tragedy. Worth a watch!

I rate this movie 4/5 buttered popcorns.

The Machinist

Tagline: How Do You Wake Up From A Nightmare If You're Not Asleep?

The story basically goes like this:

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

About this guy Trevor (Christian Bale) suffering for insomnia for one year until his body weight is like skeletal. Everyone is worried about his constant loss of weight and even his boss suspects him on taking drugs. One day while taking a break, he met a new employee named Ivan and things started to get strange. A series of unfortunate events happens and Trevor came to the conclusion that Ivan is planning a conspiracy againsts him. One thing lead to another and slowly the story reveals the reasons for his imsomnia. About 3 years ago Trevor involved in a hit-and-run where he knocked down a kid. That guilt slowly creeps up on him and causes his inability to doze off. At last, he gave himself in to the police, and had his sleep for the first time..

Read more of it here.

My take:

This is an interesting movie but the formula is not something new. Think Beautiful Mind, Fight Club, Identity. But Bane's character is really scary, looking at his skeletal built. Based on reliable source, he starved himself for 4 months with only a cup of coffee and an apple or a can of tuna to have that skeletal look before the shooting starts. All the characters are well-played and the story is keeps you wanting to know what is exactly happening.

If this happens in real world:

Trevor is already a permanent resident in Tanjung Rambutan.

Food to go along with this: Anything except coffee, apple and tuna.

I rate this movie 4/5 buttered popcorns.

Women In Trouble

Tagline: High Hopes, High Anxiety, High Heels.

The story basically goes like this:

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

This movie is about 10 girls with trouble. They are not related to each other but somehow their trouble has a slight connection. The troubles include stuck in an elevator, infidelity, porn, lesbian relationships, bestiality, and unusual sexual dysfunction, to name a few.

Read more of it here.

My take:

Quite a nice movie to watch. It's entertaining to see how each of them end up in deep shit and see the better side of it and encourage each other to overcome it. And one of the character, a dumb blonde porn star/hooker is very funny.

If this happens in real world:

Isn't this already happens in the real world...?

I rate this movie 4/5 buttered popcorns.

So, try to enjoy the movies!

Accident

The story basically goes like this:

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Brain (Louis Koo) lead a team of 4 members hitman creating an accident scene in eliminating their target instead of just killing them like normal hitman does. But one day after executing one perfectly choreographed 'accident' scene, one of the team members was accidentally hit by a bus. Paranoid, and after choreographing so many accidents, Brain believes that this is not an accident, but a conspiracy to eliminate his team. He started to suspect his team members in turning against him and another person who is related to his previous assignment. After all the tensed and suspense moments, finally he found out that what had happened... is really an accident..

Read more of it here.

My take:

Quite nice lah. Something new. But towards half way of the movie is abit boring already. Like no development and towards the ending is like, huh? Actually quite good.. But at the same time not so good. Do you feel like you accidentally read this review? Say yes because I am trying to create an accident scene here. OMG, I am so successful :D

If this happens in real world:

Mr Brain must be really brainy to think of an accident which looks like a real accident, taken into account of so many factors, including timing and human behavior..

I rate this movie 3/5 buttered popcorns.

So, try to enjoy the movies!

Just Another Pandora's Box

Tagline: 越光宝盒

The story basically goes like this:

WHAT STORYLINE? THERE IS NO STORYLINE AT ALL!!!

Read more of it here.

My take:

THIS IS THE MOST WASTE MONEY MOVIE I EVER WATCHED! WASTE ENERGY! WASTE TIME! WASTE EYE MUSCLES! BASICALLY WASTE EVERYTHING. WORST MOVIE EVER!!!!

Why nowadays HK movies like to combine China's kehlehfehs..? All the voice over.. yuckk!!

The only eye candy is Akiu from Twins.

If this happens in real world:

Well.. Actually living in the real world is also almost meaningless...

I rate this movie -1000/5 buttered popcorns.

So, try to enjoy the movies!

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever

Tagline: This Time It's Spreading

The story basically goes like this:

1) Contaminated bottled water sent to a school.
2) Students drank it.
3) All got this flesh-decaying decease.
4) Army seal up school.
5) Kill all.
6) The end.

Read more of it here.

My take:

A storyline like that, is that even a movie to start with? Embarrassingly bad acting and poor casting. If you enjoy watching scenes like chucking back the fingernail into the decaying finger and sticking them back with glue, really obese girl skinny dipping, bloody blisters on decaying flesh, then this might be a blockbuster to you. Else go and do something better, like reading a blog like this.

If this happens in real world:

Eh, looking at the pollution these days, this is possible ok!

I rate this movie 1/5 buttered popcorns.

So, try to enjoy the movies!

My Ex (แฟนเก่า)

The story basically goes like this:

One girl committed suicide after finding out her actor boyfriend is cheating on her with another actress. She becomes a ghost and back to seek revenge.

Read more of it here.

My take:

The story is a good scary idea but the storyline halfway through is getting out of hand and starting to sound ridiculous. The ghost is scary but when she starts killing people like literally killing people by pulling them into the room and blood starting pouring out, this is ridiculous. Where got ghost kill people so violent one? Ghost only scares the shit of of people ma, where got so kuajiong one...

If this happens in real world:

Almost half of the world population is suicidal because of infidelity. Me not included in the statistics ok!

I rate this movie 3/5 buttered popcorns.

So, try to enjoy the movies!

Attack Girls' Swim Team Versus the Undead

Tagline: 利発なiをそう考える

The story basically goes like this:

This school doctor la.. butt itchy go and experiment some virus on the students and all turned into zombies, except the swim team. Becos (hahahahaha) the antidote (hahahahaha) is the chlorine in the pool (hahahahaha).. Then one mysterious girl names Aki come and saved the day. Oh ya, abit about Aki. She is a trained assassin under an evil hamsap master but escaped because she is tired of being an assassin and wanted to go to school after reading some teenager magazine (hahahahahaha). Anyway (as usual), the mastermind behind this mess is the evil hamsap master. Ending all die except Aki la, what else? Oh no, Aki dies too, in the most tragic and stupid way. Duh..

Read more of it here.

My take:

Some boobs and lots of gore but the story is ridiculous. Bad acting and bad storyline but saved by the boobs. Haha..

If this happens in real world:

I wanna join that school..

Food to go along with this: Sushi.. with ketchups..

I rate this movie 1/5 buttered popcorns.

So, try to enjoy the movies!

5 Things You Will Hate While Watching A Movie

1) Starving morons

Want to eat go restaurants la.. Eat in cinema can see meh? Hope got cockroach in that hotdogs.

2) Talking douchebags

Wanna chat about the movie? Wanna discuss about the ending? Discuss go meeting room la! Or discuss during funerals!

3) Kicking idiots sitting behind

Kick your mader ah kick?

4) Late retards

Worst if late oredi and the seats are in the center of the row. Then excuse me excuse me to the center only realised it's the wrong row..

5) Analytical smartass

Wanna analyse things that people hate while watching a movie? You think what? You Einstein ah?

How crappy..

Adios

So, try to enjoy the movie..!

Law Abiding Citizen

Tagline: Justice At Any Cost

The story basically goes like this:

10 years ago 2 robbers (Darby and Ames), broke into Clyde's (Gerard Butler)home, killing both his wife and daughter. The prosecutor, Rice (Jamie Foxx) then make a deal with Darby where Ames will face the death sentence for murder while he (Darby) will get a light conviction just because he (Rice) wanted to maintain his 96% conviction rate. That's how the system works. 10 years later, while carrying out the death sentence through lethal injection on Ames, he dies an agonizing death but the lethal injection is supposed to be painless. Upon inspection, someone had changed the solutions thus the agonizing death. Moments later, Darby was found in a warehouse nearby, dismembered to 25 pieces. All the evidences leads to Clyde but it's insufficient to charge him unless he confesses that he did that to both Darby and Ames. While in detention, Rice kept pressuring Clyde to confess but Clyde just wanted to prove that the system has too many loopholes. Slowly, while still in detention, he still managed to kill the judge, Rice's boss, Rice's team, the attorney for Darby and Ames and just anyone involved in his case 10 years ago by just executing his pre-prepared plan..

Read more of it here.

My take:

This is almost great movie! It's interesting to know how someone can still kill so many people while in detention just by having the right timing and superb planning. There is a point where I am confused as who is the villain here. Clyde or Rice? The story is well told but the ending is bad. If not of the bad ending, this will a great movie.

If this happens in real world:

Almost everyone in our judiciary system is dead.

Food to go along with this: A Quarter Pounder from McD will be great!

I rate this movie 4/5 buttered popcorns.

So, try to enjoy the movies!